Coffee Stained Stories

AC 064 | April 28, 2019

I have to admit, I wouldn’t be able to point on a map where I might have been when this conversation took place. Worse yet, it happened over coffee served in a flimsy paper cup. To be fair, Ankush didn’t even get a coffee. He went for red wine that came in a plastic bottle.

But when you get to be someone’s very first Canadian person to talk to, you take that opportunity. I met Ankush on an Air Canada flight from Seoul to Vancouver.

The flight’s departure had been delayed for over three hours. So by the time I got on the plane, I was already pretty exhausted. “What a long day at the airport, eh?” I half-asked, half-grumbled to myself as I sat down. That’s when I learned that Ankush, seated next to me, wasn’t all that bothered by the delay. Ankush and his friend Tushar were traveling from Delhi all the way to Fort St.John, British Columbia, with stopovers in Seoul and Vancouver. Now that is a long day. But not only was this their first time traveling abroad, it was Day 1 of their next two years in Canada. Ankush and Tushar seemed pretty excited.

Lawyers from Karnal, Haryana

“My name is Ankush. We come from India, and it’s for the first time that we are visiting Canada. We are going to Canada for a specialization in a particular subject, which is criminology. We’ve been working as lawyers for the past one year. We’re heading towards a better future in criminology.”

Ankush and Tushar have known each other for most of their lives. They studied commerce and law together in university. Ankush deals with criminal court cases and loves being a mediator. Tushar is a corporate lawyer, and typically works on insolvency and bankruptcy cases.

“When you get to solve an issue between two people, it’s the greatest thing!”

Ankush Yadav, who loves being a lawyer

“We’re from the state of Haryana, and our hometown is called Karnal. Karnal is a very nourished city in every aspect, in terms of employment, environment, enjoyment, and climate.”

“I speak Hindi, Haryanvi, English, and Punjabi. We speak Hindi and English at work. At home, I mostly speak Haryanvi. Haryanvi is a cultural language, like a dialect. You hear people speak Haryanvi, and you might think they’re fighting.” The harsh tone reflects the wars and conflicts the region has experienced through its long history. Ankush and Tushar switch between Hindi and Punjabi when they talk to each other.

A leap of faith

“I’ve never lived away from home. I never thought I would. It was a surprise to everyone,” says Ankush. “A surprise to ourselves, too,” Tushar chimes in.

“From the time we got to the airport, when we talk about it, it makes us emotional.” It will be two years before they return to their families back in Karnal. “They will worry until we reach Canada safely. Our hardworking parents, they know that life is not easy for us in the future. So they took the step that we should go, which would be beneficial to us. So even if they feel emotional, they don’t show us.”

“Neither do we,” adds Tushar, who seems to want to fall asleep, but also want to stay in the conversation. “We have to be strong. I pretend that I’m fine and I don’t care. Actually, I do!”

“We started considering this option [of studying in Canada] separately, back in law school.” says Ankush. They had both applied to take the IELTS. It took them a while to realize that their wish to study abroad in Canada was a shared one. “We were both very confident about this idea. And we started making a plan. Initially, we were searching for an LLM (Masters of Law) program, but we couldn’t find one that fit what we were looking for. Perhaps we will pursue LLM in the future.”

Ankush and Tushar are headed to Fort St. John for a two-year criminology program at Northern Lights College. “We will learn about human behaviour, psychology… We want to study the environment in which mental conditions of a human make them engage in an illegal activity.”

Eager to experience and learn

“One of the most important things I’m looking forward to is the experience. A domestic country has every kind of case, but the cases are related to the conditions, which [in India] I know what they are. I know what happens in my country. In Canada, everyone gets [to benefit from] the environment, education, [and has access to] a better and secure future. But why does crime still happen in Canada?”

“I want to experience and get knowledge of all the aspects of why in such a developed country, these things are still happening. After studying and getting knowledge of the systems and ideas, I want to apply them in my country so they can help make [India] a better place to live.”

It’s not at all difficult to hear in Ankush’s voice the desire to learn as much as he possibly can in this new environment. Ankush and Tushar are also excited to meet people, and to travel around Canada and the United States.

Settling into a new environment

Of course, there are things Ankush is nervous about, too. “Getting into a new system in three, four days during orientation week, I’m quite tense about that.” Once they arrive in Fort St. John, they will only have a few days before the orientation for the criminology program begins. No doubt settling into a new environment and going back to school in a different country is a big deal. At once an extremely exciting and a scary one.

A big part of it is the social aspect. It’s the uncertainties around who you’ll meet and the interactions you’ll have. “Like this stranger!” Tushar gives me a cheeky look of pretend suspicion. I mean, for all they know, I’m a chatty stranger who just wouldn’t stop asking questions. So fair enough, Tushar.

“In a new place, you never know. You don’t know who you will meet, you don’t know how they will judge us,” says Ankush. He is used to the norms and cultures of interactions in India, but he will find out for himself how they differ in a new social setting.

And then, there’s the weather. “In Fort St. John, we are going to experience winter most of the time. It’s going to be cold.” They seem less than thrilled about this part.

Seasons. Festivals. Celebrations.

“Where we’re from, there are distinct seasons, and we enjoy them all. We would buy new clothes for each season.” Ankush explains that in India, each season is marked with a festival. For example, when Holi comes around, you know that winter is coming to an end, and that it is now warm enough to bathe in cold water. “People colour their faces at noon. After that, you take a bath, and go to sleep!”

Diwali, on the other hand, takes place in autumn . “We celebrated last Diwali together.” They were already planning their big move to Canada, so they knew that it was going to be their last Diwali before leaving the country for two years. When I say they should celebrate Diwali in Fort St. John, they tell me that they have brought with them kids’ toy guns to celebrate on Diwali this year. They came prepared.

Bollywood. Taj Mahal. Haunted Houses.

India is a country of festivals, vibrant colours, songs and movies. Ankush and Tushar’s eyes sparkle and their voices raise as they speak of their home country.

“One of my favourite things [about India] is the movies. I’m pretty sure you’ve watched The Notebook, or A Walk to Remember. These are very emotional and romantic movies. But they don’t have the kind of emotions that Bollywood has. You should try Bollywood movies.”

I’ve been told by these two to start by watching DDLJ (Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge; in English, The Big-Hearted Will Take Away the Bride), one of India’s all time favourites.

“If you go to India, you should see the monuments, which make the root of India very strong. You should see the temple that’s made of gold.”

“And the Taj Mahal. It was made by a husband in remembrance of his wife, who was beautiful. The architectural design is such that even now we don’t know how they built it. When it rains, a single drop of rain falls on the grave. So every time it rains, she gets water.”

“Have you been to a haunted house? We have many in India. Haunted houses, haunted palaces. These places, people get lost at night and they never come back.” Who would have thought I’d learn about haunted houses in India on my flight back to Vancouver?

The Duo

This duo, Ankush and Tushar, will be roommates in Fort St. John. Ankush has never lived alone before, but Tushar has. Asked if he would cook for Ankush, too, Tushar says no way. Ankush may end up resorting to Maggi (an instant noodles brand popular in India) everyday. Ankush’s really got to step up his friendship game.

“I hope people will know that I am not afraid of new people, and that I’m an open-minded person. Many people start judging me because of my mustache. They might say, he’s a lawyer and he looks like a criminal.” Ankush says people often have assumptions that he’s rude or unfriendly. He didn’t always have a mustache. It’s only been three or four years since he started having one. “I decided to keep it. The best side of a person, you can only see when you give them discomfort. It’s like a mask, the mustache.”

Thanks to Ankush and Tushar, who were willing to share their stories and put up with this stranger, my ten-hour flight back to Vancouver didn’t feel so long.

What a pleasure meeting you two, Ankush and Tushar. When you read this, know that I wrote this with the DDLJ soundtrack playing in the background!

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Ankush Yadav | ankushyadav2015@gmail.com

Tushar Verma | info@stepbystepguide.in