Coffee Stained Stories

February 21, 2021

In loving memory of my grandma

February 20, 2021

I could talk about how upsetting it is not to have been able to fly out to Seoul and be with family to hug them and grieve with them at this time. I could talk about the relief in the knowledge that she’s no longer in pain as she had been for so long.

I could talk about how faithfully she served God. And how many people’s hearts she touched with her generosity and wisdom. But I don’t doubt there’s people far better versed than I am to attest to that.

Today I’m simply thinking about her and celebrating the woman that I’ve been blessed to have known as my grandmother:

A true family matriarch, she was the love of my grandpa’s life, mum to four incredible humans and their spouses, and grandma to us four little ones.

She laughed boisterously. She prayed for her children and their children daily. She lived and loved fiercely. And she’ll be missed so dearly.

February 1, 2021

The list of delights

February 1, 2021

Longtime readers of the blog will know that I am a huge This American Life fan.

Don’t worry, I’m not delusional: I don’t pretend to have an imaginary fanbase of longtime readers. I just love when podcast hosts say things like: “Longtime listeners will know that our producer so-and-so has eleven dogs,” and I wanted to say it this one time. Let a girl daydream, ok?

Anyway, for the first week of 2021, This American Life re-ran an episode called “The Show of Delights.” There I was introduced to Ross Gay’s Book of Delights, a collection of essays about -you guessed it- delight. For one year, every day Gay wrote down things that delighted him. One time, it was carrying a tomato seedling through airport security and onto a plane, and the unusual, hilarious, delightful interactions that ensued.

Listening to this (and later, his book), I was inspired to give it a try myself. It wasn’t going to be beautifully-written, thought-provoking essayettes like his, but I would write down something that delighted me each day.

Let me remind you, as if you don’t already know far too intimately: January 2021 was a crazy news month, and in many ways, a continuation of the difficult times that it has been for some time. But one could argue, what better time is there than now to actively look for delightful moments in life? I thought of it kind of like how I try to force a habit of gratitude when I’m feeling most ungrateful.

So I did indeed start a practice of writing down the little moments of delight every day.

And here, I thought to share some of my daily delights of the past month.

January 31, 2021

Places, Places

January 31, 2021

Back in late 2019, I was thinking a lot about places. I still do. Interviewing different individuals for this blog, I learned about little bits and pieces of life in cities and towns in far corners of the world. And in turn, I found myself reflecting about some of the places that are near and dear to my heart. And so I wrote about it.

For whatever reason, it sat as a draft for many months. And now, over a year later and in a global pandemic that has confined my life and my imagination mostly to my living room, stumbling upon what I had written then hits a different spot. And I thought I’d finally share it.

YOU

January 9, 2021

Aurora Cominetti

November 1, 2020

“Moving in and out of places is not easy, and sometimes it is really heartbreaking because you get to a place and you call it home.

So you feel like your heart breaks in a way, cause you’re leaving a place that has become home to you. But at the same time, it becomes filled with the people that you met, the experiences that you had that you couldn’t have had back home. You know, back home, for example, I could have never gone dog sledding! And all the people I met were very inspiring, and they pushed me to pursue my dreams.

So it’s heartbreaking to leave places that you’ve called home and the people you’ve met, but they fill your heart, and your heart becomes bigger. And you feel like you’re more enriched.”

YOU

October 25, 2020

Erik Wu

October 16, 2020

“When I first started working [in the US], I was talking to a coworker, and he was trying to explain to me how health insurance works here. It’s super complicated. And the cashier lady at the cafeteria said, because she’s not a full-time employee at the company, she pays something like $400 a month in premiums. I was just like, that’s crazy.

I’ve known about the US healthcare for the longest time, because we talk about it in Canada as well, but when you live here, it’s crazy. My company supposedly has a really good healthcare plan, and I still have to pay hundreds of dollars out of pocket to see outpatient doctors. I think that’s a deterrent for a lot of people to see a doctor.

It makes you appreciate what we have in Canada more. I think it speaks to different priorities as a country. Canada doesn’t have the dynamism that the US has, but I think that’s a feature, not a bug.

But I think it’s also critical not to delude yourself into thinking that Canada is this wonderland. When I first joined, it was right after Trudeau’s blackface scandal. A few of my teammates from India came up to me, and said: Erik, I’m so surprised. I thought Canada was a post-racial wonderland.

Clearly, Canada’s PR department has done a good job. Speaking as a Chinese Canadian, I’ve faced a level of casual discrimination [in Canada]. I haven’t felt the full weight of systemic discrimination, but you hear certain words here and there. It’s very subtle, but it’s there. And there’s always those who remind me that they don’t think I’m an actual Canadian.”

September 13, 2020

2020: Where do you go to find beautiful things?

Summer-into-fall thoughts, 2020

When you see division wherever you look, anxiety and fear thick in the air, where do you go to find beautiful things?

I say this with humility and caution. I know full well that this season’s been more taxing, more devastating for far too many hearts. But I have struggled, to find beauty amidst the heartaches. Nuance-less attempts for a positive spin only agitate me more.

But… I’m attuned to season changes now more than ever. In the absence of a packed schedule and the bustling rhythm of the pre-pandemic normal, I know better what sustains my soul.

Can we stand with those who are oppressed, forgotten, mistreated, misunderstood? Those whose sacrifices and sufferings are taken for granted. Can we hurt with those who hurt – it’s been a year of a lot of that.

After all, don’t we all feel – the anger, the fear, the grief, the despair, as well as the little wins and glimpses of joy –

It’s that perfect peach. It’s the melty cheese. It’s the summer breeze. It’s the beautifully made bed every once in a while. A carefully curated bookshelf is like a well-stocked pantry, and a shared laugh makes a world of difference.

And you know… as for making a difference in the world, we can do better, we will do better, it is that important.

And yes, I had to look long and hard. But even when it feels foggy with a mix of heavy emotions, there’s hope, there’s strength, there’s beauty here still.

Yours,

YOU

September 12, 2020

Ronald Ranta

August 11, 2020

“People are more inclined, over the last few years, to be interested in politics in a way they haven’t been in the past. There are many issues that are galvanizing people to become far more active and interested in politics. I think that’s a very positive thing.

I think a silver lining of what’s happening around the world is that it’s pushing people to understand that if they don’t do something, nothing will be done. In the US and outside, the election of Trump has galvanized people in our generation to engage with issues and say what they believe in, far more than if Hilary Clinton had won the election. There are far more people of colour, sexual minorities, women, who are pursuing office at higher levels or engaging in grassroots levels in politics.

The debate about race and structural racism have come to the forefront. Many people who might not have seen themselves in the curriculum and have not been interested in hearing about the history of white people around the world in the last few centuries are now engaging in these protests, or simply reading more about it. And I think that can only be a very positive thing.

The fact that climate change has become a big issue. Many young people take a more activist approach, and read more about it. A more informed society is a very healthy society. And I think the more we are informed and more engaged with each other, the more we can change things, and change things for the better.

So teaching politics in a way is easier now, because they’re more interested in what’s happening. Again, they might not be interested in the way we were in the past. They might not be here to talk about the cold war. But they want to hear much more about what’s happening with regards to climate, the environmental issues, talk about the history of racism, structural racism, inequality, and colonialism. I think that’s a great thing, simply wanting to be more engaged and wanting to understand what’s happening.”

YOU

July 31, 2020

Agnès Lebeau

July 21, 2020

“Both of my parents are very well-versed and trained in the pastry chef experience. They are both immigrants. My dad is from Belgium, and apprenticed in a lot of Belgian bakeries.

My mother is from Hong Kong. She wanted to be a hotel manager, but she discovered pastry cheffing, because that was an aspect of being a hotel manager. You had to know how to be a chef and a pastry chef, and she was just totally entranced by the pastry chef experience!

They met in San Francisco at a culinary school. They both trained for a lot of years, and after they graduated and apprenticed in several other bakeries, they decided to come to Vancouver and open up their own store. And they’ve been doing pastry since we opened in 1995.

[…] I’ve gone to Belgium three times, I think. My grandparents lived in Tubize, which is a small town about an hour away from Brussels. My family is a little bit stereotypically Belgian in that my grandfather was a beer brewer and my dad owns a waffle place!

Fun fact, Belgians love Canadians. Canada helped out Belgium in World War II. So there are many Canadian monuments in Belgium. It was very funny because my grandma was like, this is my granddaughter and she’s Canadian! She was very happy and super proud to show me off.

I think I’ve been to Hong Kong three times, as well. My mom’s family is all there. We always went in the winter, thank god. I don’t know how I’d do in Hong Kong in the summer. Even in the winter, it was still quite warm. It was really fun.

Hong Kong is very diverse, and really has its own culture. It’s both British and Chinese. A little bit Portuguese because of Macau, too. I always say my favourite Hong Kong breakfast is macaroni noodle soup. It’s a big thing in Hong Kong. Ham and bits of corn and macaroni noodles in a soup, and it’s so good!

I’m very proud of both [Belgian and Hong Kong] cultures, cause I’ve had to explain them a lot to people.”

YOU

July 1, 2020

Sophia Thomson

May 31, 2020

“I want everyone to be kind to one another, get educated, help where you can, and be safe overall.

I’ve been feeling that 2020 has been almost one big waste of time. And in recent days I’m just hoping that 2020 will be worth something, and that change will come. I’m hopeful, despite that everything has been heartbreaking lately.

I’m holding onto the hope that humans are smart, and we can be generous and kind to one another. Because if we were so bad, why do we still have all the beautiful things that life has to offer to us? With time, I think we can get there, but it’s not easy.”

June 15, 2020

Mid-June thoughts

June 2020

I haven’t been able to write these past few weeks. I’ve scribbled pages and pages of messy notes in my journal about all that’s been going on in the world, but trying to articulate it in a way that is coherent and beautiful has been impossible. As someone who has a pathological need to write to make meaning of what happens in my world, this has left me feeling apprehensive.

Though, arguably, this isn’t the time to fret about producing something beautiful. You don’t create a beautiful world by only choosing to see what’s beautiful, by looking away from the injustices and the brokenness in your world – especially ones that don’t touch you directly.

Admittedly, that’s what I’ve been doing all this time. While I’ve been frustrated to find a divided society in which people seem unwilling to listen, I never listened, either. My understanding of how marginalization plays out in my own city is upsettingly limited. I know shockingly little about Black and Indigenous histories here in Canada.

This week’s episode of This American Life, titled Here, Again captures so much of what’s been at the forefront of my mind that I’ve struggled to articulate. There’s nothing in this episode that’s presented as brand-new information or a radical idea. And yet, it resonates with me.

An exhaustingly familiar story, as the makers of the show call it.

Yours,

Sarah

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