Caffè Cittadella | October 26, 2019
Did I ever tell you that I have a special kind of love reserved for cozy neighbourhood cafés? Caffè Cittadella, a beautiful heritage house on the Fairview slopes of Vancouver, is certainly one of them. And that is where this Coffee Stained Story took place.
Meet Vivek Sahay. Vivek and I first became friends in the fall of 2015, some time after we both returned to Vancouver from studying abroad in London, UK. Although we didn’t know each other very well while in London, we soon found out that we knew some of the same people, went to many of the same places, and both had the time of our lives there.
Fast forward four years, we share a sense of adventure and a thirst for experiencing new places. And you bet our conversations still travel back to London every now and then, naturally.
La Bella Cenicienta del Pacifico
“I was born in Mexico, in a city called Ensenada. It means a cove. People from that area call it La Bella Cenicienta del Pacifico – the beautiful Cinderella of the Pacific.”
Vivek has a lot of love for his hometown, especially when it comes to its food and its people. “Mexican food is overall amazing. Ensenada’s famous for fish tacos. I hated fish growing up, which is bizarre, ‘cause I’m from a port town. A lot of my friends’ parents worked in the fishing business. But now I love it. Ceviche, I love, and any type of tacos. Mole is really good, too.”
Uhm, that does sound amazing, truly. Take me?
And, of course, the people. “They are very friendly and open. Treat you like family. When you go visit a friend, their parents would come along and hang out with you. A lot of my close friends’ moms, they treat me like their own. I think that’s one of the defining things of that culture. Everybody puts in the effort to spend time with you, and make you feel welcome.”
The Edmonton Winter and Stanford’s Lemon Trees
“My dad’s a researcher, a geophysicist, based in Mexico. Every six years, he has a sabbatical year, so he goes to different research institutes. When I was six, we lived in Edmonton for a year, which was fun, playing in the snow.
And when I was twelve and thirteen, we lived in Stanford University in Palo Alto. Beautiful place. I remember biking around the campus. I would pass by the Greek houses and think, these are fun houses. There were lemon trees near the Greek houses so I climbed them and grabbed lemons all the time!”
Each time he and his family moved to live in a new place for a year, it was like going on an adventure for Vivek. “And when I came back [to Ensenada], I met up with my friends as if I’d never left. Played some GameCube, went out and played soccer.”
Vancouver
At 18, Vivek and his family moved to Vancouver, and he started university soon afterwards. “That time, it didn’t feel so much like an adventure. It felt more concrete. It just fell into place that Vancouver and UBC were the right choices for myself and my family. But, I didn’t try at that time to pursue anything else, to see if there were other opportunities I may like. I was just going along for the ride. And I think that took a hit on me at the end of first year, because I wasn’t sure if it was the right move, if I was doing the right thing. And I think the reason why I felt that way was because the choices were less mine. They just made sense. And I didn’t like that feeling.”
LA & London
For Vivek, getting to move around is one of the joys in life. So once in university, he continued to pursue opportunities to experience living and learning in new cities.
“For one summer, I lived in LA. What is there to say? LA is the city of dreams, man. Go there, you put on your acting face, pick up your guitar and go to the Hollywood sign, and you play your heart out!”
Nah, that’s not exactly what Vivek did in Los Angeles the summer he turned twenty-one. “It was a three-month undergraduate research program with a bunch of people from the US. Everyone was super excited about my 21st birthday, but I turned 18 in Mexico and 19 [after I moved to] Canada, so it was my third time turning legal.”
After that, Vivek went on exchange to London. “I flew into Gatwick Airport in London, and took the train to Farringdon Station, and I was so confused! None of the streets had proper signage. I was like, am I on the road? Am I not on the road?”
When Vivek finally reached his student residence on Wren Street, he found out that he had the view of BT Tower from his room!
“In London, I became more social and outgoing. I became comfortable being around people, having conversations around different ideas. You’re out at bars having fun, but you’re sitting across someone from Germany, Finland, or Indonesia, and you get to see the perspectives of other people. I was really interested in hearing other people’s stories, and what they had to say.”
European travels and enjoying the little things
While traveling is one of the main appeals of going on exchange for many, it wasn’t that simple of a matter for Vivek. “Being an Indian citizen at the time, it was a struggle getting a visa to travel in Europe. I had this tendency to decide if something was possible or not, so I wasn’t even going to bother trying. But one of my friends encouraged me to just give it a try. And it worked.
One of the things I noticed was that a lot of people who got to freely travel, at the slightest deviation from their plan, or if something didn’t turn out as perfect, they would get so upset. They were looking to make it the best experience.
I went into every single trip thinking that I was just lucky to be here. Because I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it. So if I’m just sitting in Barcelona staring at the buildings, I’m going to enjoy that. If I’m in front of the Coliseum having a gelato, I’m going to enjoy that. I was just interested in what the trees looked like, what the floor looked like, how people moved. From that, I learned to just enjoy the little things.
Now that I am able to freely travel [with a Canadian passport], anywhere I go, I feel that I’m just lucky to be here, that I’m just going to soak up where I am.”
Next Steps
Vivek left his previous job a few months ago (“I’m fun-employed!”) to focus on determining what’s next for him. “I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to be doing next, what steps I need to take to get there. Looking to see where I can have the most impact and making choices that build on each other.
It’s been good, slow, confusing, overwhelming. It’s been good in that I’m trying things and narrowing focus, giving multiple avenues a try and seeing what fits. I’m not looking for the perfect answer, but an answer that is in the right direction. I think the most important thing is that whatever I do is impactful, for myself and others. Eventually, I want to be in a position where I can help drive decisions in a way that’s impactful to people’s lives. At the end of the day, it’s people that matter.
So I want to build up skills, either from the managerial or technical side. One of the reasons why I went into electrical engineering was to work on electric vehicles or renewable energy. It’s been an internal fight trying to see if that’s the direction I want to pivot back to, or if I go onto a different area, like robotics and autonomous vehicles.
It’s been an exhausting little while. Studying for software interviews, preparing for the GRE to pursue studies outside of Canada. One of the regrets when I was eighteen was that I didn’t try, so as exhausting as it is, I gotta try, and give it my best. There’s been people along the way that have helped me stay sane and have kept me motivated, and I thank them.
And I know in many ways that [I’m lucky,] to be in a position to be able to take some time to think about life. A lot of people everywhere in the world don’t have this luxury, so it’s not something I take for granted.”
On the desire to be impactful
“[A few years ago,] I had this thought, perhaps a recurring dream, of being in India. I’m a kid at this point, and I see a slum, it’s a long alley with shanty houses and garbage and lots of kids. The kids are running around the slum and playing. I remember thinking that I could have been the kid on the other side. It’s pure luck that I was on this side and not that side. And it felt unfair. By no fault of my own, I’m on this side. And by no fault of his or hers, the kid is on the other side.”
In talking to his dad, Vivek learned that this was actually a piece of his memory from one of his early trips to India. And this is a thought that motivates Vivek to do something that improves the world. “I’m lucky that I’m on this side. It’s not hard work, it’s not determination, it’s none of that bullshit. It’s pure luck. I’m lucky that I was able to stand on the shoulders of caring, intelligent parents who gave everything for their kids. And they were lucky to stand on someone else’s shoulders. It’s a cycle, and I was lucky I fell on the positive side. And at a certain point, what you do with that luck is up to you. And I’m at that point where I think now what I do with all that luck is up to me.”
You know yourself best
“A lot of times, we look to others for advice and answers – a person, a place, a higher being. It’s comforting to know that an answer is coming from somewhere. That you don’t have to make your own choices.
But each person is the sum of all their experiences, and only you know what’s right for you. The only answer that will work for you needs to come from your own mind and heart and soul. You can talk to people about alternatives, pros and cons to help you dissect things. But at the end of the day, you need to make the choice that aligns best with who you are and what you want to do. You know yourself best.
The world is becoming a competition about who has it better, who travels most, who does this best, who’s been to the fanciest places quickest. But it’s worthless. It’s a race where nobody wins. Don’t get caught up in the others, because what will make you happy, only you know. You know what’s right for you, so do what’s right for you.”
I don’t know about you, but there’s a lot here that resonates with me – figuring out the next steps, making meaning of experiences and opportunities that I’m so very privileged to have had, and leading a life that is impactful.
Here’s to the experiences that inspire, and here’s to the conversations that make us rich.
And, Vivek – as Jason Mraz would sing (yes, I spent the past decade listening to so many of his songs on repeat): May you always lead from the beating in your chest. 🎵
