April 7, 2020
A little past midnight has quickly become my new go-to time of day for CoffeeStained chats. Given this, there’s been an increasing number of wine glass stains associated with these stories, in lieu of coffee stains. Shh.
It’s a Sunday night for me here in Vancouver, and I called up my friend Bianca in Freiburg, Germany.
Bettina Bianca Kiss
Bianca and I met in the fall of 2013, in one of my favourite cities, London, UK, while we were both on exchange. Later that year, I ended up spending the holidays over at Bianca’s in Freiburg, and had a lovely German Christmas. Christmas at Bianca’s meant going to Christmas markets in three different cities, binge-watching the Bridget Jones movies, and the best homemade cookies, ever.
“My name is Bianca, which is actually my second name. My first name is Bettina. It’s Monday the 6th of April over here. I’m broadcasting from Freiburg, Germany.”
Freiburg, Germany
With fond memories of Freiburg from my Christmastime visit years back, I first ask Bianca to talk a bit about her city, and how things have been over on her side of the world lately.
“They say Freiburg is the southernmost large city of Germany, with a population of 200,000 to 250,000. It has a medieval city centre. It used to be part of France, then part of Germany, and then France again, so it has a bit of French influence. We have a few neighbourhoods that are named after French architects. There was a French architect called Vauban, who was known for building the city walls in the shape of a star. And that’s what Freiburg used to be. That’s why we still have these two towers that you can drive through. That’s where the city would end.”
“Freiburg was bombed in the Second World War – completely, absolutely to the ground. There are these pictures of Freiburg right after the war, when only our main cathedral would be intact. Everything you see right now that looks historical has been rebuilt to look as authentic as possible. There are still parts of buildings that are in their original form, but a lot had to be rebuilt.
We have a university that’s attracting a lot of international students. It’s a student city. Compared to some other cities in the south of Germany, Freiburg is very relaxed, very eco-friendly. Everyone is trying their best to not do too badly for the environment. And you can do almost anything you want without facing much judgement.”
Fighting the pandemic
Like many, many cities and towns around the world, life looks different in Freiburg right now.
“We’ve been in a lockdown for three weeks now. We’re still allowed to go out to do grocery shopping. People are still going out to jog and bike. You are not allowed to step outside with anyone else except those who live in the same household as you. And most people are still going to work, actually. My parents are both still working. My mom’s a caretaker, so you can’t do that from home. And my dad’s a mechanic, and most of the parts for the company he works for comes from Sweden, and not China or the US. So far, it’s been okay.
But yes, it’s been difficult for a lot of people. We’ve been ordering food a lot, which we didn’t used to do before this. We’re wanting to support all kinds of restaurants and cafés that are still trying to hang in there and are doing deliveries. It’s not such a great time for them.”
A new routine
Bianca is adjusting to a new rhythm of life and finding ways to stay calm through this extraordinary time.
“I’ve been listening to podcasts way more than I used to. Some of my favourite podcasts are doing daily episodes now, which is really cool.
And I de-clutter almost every day, something around this household. There’s something about keeping my hands in motion that feels good. There’s something about minimalism that has attracted me for a while now. Now that we’re all home this much for this long, you do sit there and feel like the walls are coming closer! While I don’t have a lot of stuff, I can get rid of some of it and it helps me focus and be more creative.”
“I’ve stopped watching the news. Maybe once a day to try to keep up with the newest regulations for the town or the region, but that’s mostly it. It’s good to know some stuff, but I don’t feel the need to check the numbers every single day…”
Moving back from Paris
“It hit me the other day, imagining what it would have been like if I was still in Paris, if I hadn’t moved back. It would have been tough if I had still been in that apartment that I lived in, all by myself.”
Bianca had only moved back to Freiburg towards the end of last year. For five years prior to that, she had been living in Paris.
“I had only planned to stay for a month or two, when I moved to Paris in 2015. It was right after I graduated from university, and I had enrolled in a summer program in a French language school. And when I got there, I got an internship, which then did not work out. It was at an art gallery, and I was really not comfortable there. But luckily, I found a different internship straightaway, and I kind of extended my stay on the go every time I found a new thing – a new job, or another summer program. And almost 5 years later, I was still there.
Eventually, I was ready for something new, and I was homesick for London, and was hoping that would work out. And then, Brexit was finally getting serious. And I thought I might as well wait it out back home. I didn’t want to sit it out in Paris and get myself another job that I might not like just to pay rent. So I was planning to be back with my folks, save a little money and travel the world. See as much as possible, then settle for a new job. Then my stay here was extended, due to this virus. It’s alright for now, I don’t mind very much. My time will come, and I will eventually move back to London, hopefully.”
Homesick for London
As you might notice, London is a special place for Bianca. We both turn rather nostalgic as we reminisce on our London days.
“I would go as far as to say that that year in London was maybe the best year in my life, still. I’ve had great moments since, but a whole year!”
“I feel like that’s the year – this might be a little too cheesy – that I started living, or started having my own opinions and not being afraid to speak about them.
Before London, I never even considered living anywhere else other than Germany. And I came to London, and I was like, this does work! People actually do live in foreign countries, get by, and be happy. I used to think that it was so difficult, with so much paperwork… And yes, that is the case, but it’s not as frightening anymore.
That’s why the city is so special to me. It made things happen, on so many levels.”
When you have something you’re passionate about…
Since her first internship in Paris and the realization that the art industry perhaps wasn’t for her, Bianca has been pursuing communications and social media management in her professional life. At the same time, she has found her true passion in photography.
“I hit my lowest in terms of mental health when I kind of got into photography again. As an artist, sometimes you think, ‘what am I doing, and what’s the point?’ And you start doubting, and you’re out of creativity somehow. When I was having a low moment, wondering why I was still in Paris, I ended up buying some random £30, old camera on a trip to London. And it was something new, and something I could focus on. And I got excited again. When you have something you’re passionate about, it helps to motivate you. Ground you, even.
I would still consider myself an amateur, but I do hope that maybe I would make a living out of it one day. I also do analogue photography, and there’s something really fun about it. It’s like going back to being a kid in the 90s and taking a picture, and not knowing if it would turn out.
I would be very, very happy to have one of my pictures amongst a bunch of photo artists in a tiny gallery one day, and have a small, intimate exhibition. Maybe in Paris, maybe in London. That would be really neat.”
Watching out for each other
Lately, Bianca’s been thinking a lot about the importance of watching out for each other.
“Catching up with each other every now and then, and making sure that someone’s okay is so important. You never know what someone is going through. They might not want to tell you, or they might not understand what they’re going through. And it’s not always something serious. They might be struggling with something. Maybe a shit day at work, or whatever it may be.
You don’t need to have the answers or solutions, but just letting somebody know that you’re there and genuinely care, I think that is really, really important. Now even more so than ever, we need a little compassion and care. We’re all going through something really difficult right now, we’re not all doing ‘fine.’ We’re all worried about something.”
Words of encouragement from the Parisian stranger-neighbour
“My very last day in Paris, I had literally packed up all my stuff, and my landlord had come by to pick up my keys. I still had a few hours left until I had to catch my train back home.
And there was a neighbour, who I think was living two floors above me. He was the first person I met when I moved in. He was always standing right outside my window, smoking. And it used to annoy me, because all the smoke then would come into my room. And he would always chat to all kinds of people. That annoyed me too.
So the very last day, I was leaving the apartment, and it was all the emotions and it was weird. And he was standing outside my window, again. And for first time, I got to really chat to this guy, and it was the most amazing conversation I had in four years of living in Paris.
He told me his whole story of how he came from Sicily when he was seventeen without any money, and he’s been living in Paris ever since. He was already retired. All of a sudden, I had an understanding for him and why he was talking to so many people on the street, because he knew everyone who lived on that street by now.
He told me that he was a carpenter. And now, he refurbishes furniture for fun and sells them. He would pick up some stuff from flea markets and tear everything apart, and re-do the cushions and put a new fabric on them. There was this couch with a wooden frame and a zebra print! It looked amazing.
In that moment I sort of believed in, something like destiny. That some things were meant to happen. I felt that maybe I was meant to finally talk to him on my last day, to leave Paris with a smile.
The last thing he told me was, ‘do not lose your spirit.’ That’s when I thought I had to write this down. Those moments, you really have to keep in your memory for whenever things do get tough again.
And I had the entire conversation for half an hour in French, too. I was proud of myself!”
Do not lose your spirit, I think we can all borrow a little from this stranger-neighbour’s wisdom right about now. Check on your loved ones and neighbours, show that you care. A little compassion and care goes a long way, indeed.
I found these photos from 2013 that I have not seen in a while. Sending so much love to you and your family, Bianca!
Follow Bianca on Instagram @bianca.kiss
